"Becoming" by Michelle Obama - Book Review

I'm not sure when I found out exactly that Michelle Obama was releasing a new book, but I knew immediately I had to have it. Until the Obamas were in office, I had no personal connection to politics. I didn't care much... I didn't even feel like it really affected my life. But that night in November 2008, something definitely changed and it was magical. Fourteen year-old me felt it when we cast our mock-ballots at school, when the real results came in that night, and especially when I was watching the inaugural balls on television, and saw Michelle looking absolutely stunning in her white, flower-covered dress. I knew the struggle of my ancestors, and it wasn't beyond me how significant this moment was, an indicator of how far we'd come and evidence of the idea that I really could do whatever I wanted in life.

Non-fiction is not necessarily my genre of choice, but this memoir was amazing. I truly feel that Michelle bared her heart with candid honesty that I very much appreciated. She takes us through her early years as a child growing up on the south side of Chicago, and through the small but meaningful events & people in her life, that ended up (in one way or another) propelling her onto the path she eventually found herself on. This eventually brings us all the way to the present, where after years of what seemed like hopeful progress throughout her husband's election and presidency, the hate and discord (that many naively thought was gone in our nation) made itself more pronounced with the appointment of Donald Trump as commander in chief. She takes us through her high school years, her Ivy League years, and then into her professional life, where by chance, she met Barack Obama. Their courtship was possibly my favorite part of the novel because of how healthy it was. She was in her mid-20's, focused on herself, and so was he. She wasn't looking for anyone, he found her. They were both two whole people, who thoughtfully contemplated their purposes, and were both headed places in life. It was refreshing to read about something like that for a change, instead of the broken relationships we see all too much nowadays.

She goes on to take us through their time dating and (spoiler alert 😉) the wedding! At this point, I really began to see how anyone - and I mean anyone - can read this book, and get something from it. She goes on to cover the extensive loss of loved ones close to her and Barack, the difficulty that sometimes arises when trying to conceive a child, the idea of making sure that you're grounded in your romantic relationships (i.e. knowing yourself, so that you don't lose yourself when you have a partner whose hectic life sometimes threatens to consume yours), the struggles of work/life balance, self-doubt, fighting back when people try to place their inaccurate, pre-conceived notions of who you are on you, raising children, the importance of friendships (especially friendships among women), family, and there's even basketball thrown in there for the athletes. You name it, and an experience related to it is probably in this book. My favorite quote came towards the end, and you can find it below:

It's not about being perfect. It's not about where you get yourself in the end. There's power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your story, in using your authentic voice. And there's grace in being willing to know and hear others. This, for me, is how we become.

I take that quote to mean that our stories aren't something to be ashamed of. Maybe we didn't finish college. Or maybe we went but didn't go to graduate school like we planned. Maybe we went to school for the wrong thing, and now we're struggling to find purpose. Maybe we've had less than perfect relationships - both with friends and romantic partners - that we struggle with. Maybe we come from broken families, families we don't get along with. None of this is something to be ashamed of. Every experience, good or bad, shapes us into the person we're becoming. Our job is not to stay down when life knocks us down, it's to let the experiences make us into better people. To continuously evolve.

I give this memoir 15 stars out of 10 - and not just because I absolutely adore Michelle Obama, but because I truly think everyone, even her critics, will pull something valuable from this book. To this end, I'd like to share a list of three major lessons I learned from this book. After you read it, I hope you go off to purchase "Becoming," you won't regret it, I promise.

1. Be intentional with your life, but also go with the flow. I understand if you feel this doesn't make sense, but let me offer an explanation: though Michelle was very intentional with her life in the book (she performed well in school, and had a plan for life after college), she didn't force outcomes. The things that happened in her life that placed her on the path to where she is today, happened because she trusted the process. All we can do is our best, and with the rest simply pray and have faith that things will always work out for the good - and they WILL!
2. Be whole before you get into a relationship. So many people looks at relationships like salves - they want the other person to fix their problems, be it financial, self-esteem issues, or loneliness. But that's not what a healthy relationship looks like. Sure, there might be moments where you have to pick up the other's weight when they're weighed down but the struggles of life, but it shouldn't start off like that. BE YOUR OWN PERSON, AND BE ROOTED IN YOUR OWN LIFE. Make sure that your partner is complimenting you, NOT completing you. Be whole on your own.
3. Own your story and be proud of it. None of our stories are the same. You may think there are parts in yours to be ashamed of, but you would be wrong. Situations pan out differently for all of us, and that's okay. There's no wrong or right path in this thing called life, there are only experiences and lessons learned. Be proud of where you've been, and where you're going - and let no one make you feel otherwise.